Monday, April 5, 2010:
It’s been awhile, again. I’ve got to stop starting blogs saying that.
Spring has sprung! And yesterday was beautiful! I was able to put the boys in their Easter outfits with the shorts. Easter is such an amazing time of year. Until you understand the meaning and purpose of the celebration, it’s just a holey-day. What Christ did for us is so unthinkable, but I am forever thankful.
My grandpa also passed away yesterday morning (Easter). He had been battling a lot of things over the last several years, and even more so in the last months. He was taken in to the hospital on Thursday morning, April 1, unresponsive. He never returned to his normal state after that. We only assumed… and hoped, he could hear us. He’s raise an eyebrow when I’d hold Andy up to say “Hi Grandpa Leo, I love you!” he loved Andy… he called him “Little Red”. He loved all my boys, and they loved him so much. The stories Jack couldn’t wait to tell him, the hugs Andy couldn’t wait to share with him, and the smiles Alex always gave him.
I told my grandpa good-bye on Saturday night, my boys will know about him and all the wonderful things he had done for us. Jack will remember him, no doubt. He’s said a few times now “Maybe tomorrow we can go up to Heaven and see Grandpa Leo.” He’s taking it really well so far, but I think he’s still going to ask where he is for awhile until it sinks in. And I know I’ll be doing the same thing… forgetting for a moment that I can’t just go and see him anymore…. he won’t be calling me anymore just to see how we are doing.
It was pretty tough yesterday pulling into the driveway at his and my grandma’s house. Seeing his truck in the driveway… his chair in the kitchen… his chair in the living room. I can still hear his voice in my head saying “love you.” I think it’s really going to hit me hard today since Easter is over and it’s not here to mask it anymore.
Easter is something I always think was my grandpa’s favorite holiday. He enjoyed the egg hunts probably more than we did. He’d walk around, hands in his pockets and laughing at our searches. he was good. I can’t remember a year we found all the eggs.
I have so many memories of my grandpa and he is going to missed so much. I think he was too young to die, 72, but I’m not God and I don’t make the plans. It hurts my heart to know that I can’t hear him and hug him again in my life on Earth. I just can’t wait to see him again… him and all others I’ve lost and will lose over the years. I rejoice that his battle is over, his pain has ended… and now he’s perfect.
I wish I would have taken more pictures of my grandpa with the boys. I just never thought that this would happen so soon.
Let that be a lesson to myself and everyone.
Here he is holding Alex after he was born. My grandpa was in the hospital the same time I had him. It was funny being on the same floor as him, just down the hall pretty much.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010:
I’m going to miss my grandpa always. I’ve looked at his cell phone number in my phone so many times over the last few days. I just want to call it and hear his voice mail message…. him simply saying his name, “Leo”.
You think you’re “ok” with losing a loved one, and all of a sudden you think of something and you realize you can’t share that with them anymore. You can’t see them smile, laugh, or hear them tell a joke, or feel their hugs….. or hear them tell you “I love you”…. and you say “I love you” back… but their ears aren’t there to hear. These things are only in my mind now. And every other mind of every other person his life touched… which is many.
Ok, now I’m going to share some pictures of the boys over the last few weeks.
my big boys and their messy, silly faces!!!
Ok, not the kids… my salad. I found Pac-man in there trying to sneak some of my whales!!
This had the potential for a good shot. Sadly, they didn’t cooperate.
I just love his crazy red hair.
And now… the many faces of Alex! Ok, well just a couple of them. More after the Easter pictures.
Coloring eggs!! Alex can help!
Finally, after at least 2 weeks of asking when we’ll color eggs, Jack gets his wish.
Look how clean that boy stayed!
Easter Day 2010
The boys’ Easter bags. Much more fun to make and cheaper than baskets. And… way cooler.
Ok, here are the faces of Alex. He was eating butternut squash, and he loves it. He was just being goofy.
Spoon by Gerber. Food by Mom.
I think he looks like my brother Jared here:
That’s all for now. We’re still doing a lot of spring projects around the house. Right now I am off to tape off the boys room so I can start painting this afternoon.
I can’t wait to get our wicker furniture outside, and the new entry door up. The furniture would have been so wonderful last night. It was so beautiful outside. Joe and I went for a walk a little after 10 and it was just so nice!! I would have loved to have sat outside on the porch, too. I know we have days ahead where we can enjoy them.
Have a great week everyone!!! And make sure to hug the ones you love extra tight for me.
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